"When you come the next time, you will come to pick me up, won't you ?" The word of my father with a happy smile stayed in my heart. He had been in the hospital, and wanted to come home.
But that very night he passed away. It was a huge shock to me because somehow I had a feeling that my parents will always be there since they were in such a good health. What will happen from now on ? I had such a helpless and empty feeling that there was nothing I could do.
My brother was going to enter his high school. As my father was feeling sorry not to be able to do anything for him, I told him that I would do something, and I bought him a watch and a pair of shoes. I don't know if that was what my father wanted to do for my brother, but he seemed happy.
When we were told that there was no hope for my father's recovery, my mother started to attend a daily meeting of some religion. I also went, but only once. My father said" I am grateful that your mother is praying for me, but I rather have her stay by my side" At that time, I had just been working for one year, but was absent from my work for my father. But I had just thought of going back to work the next day since I could not be absent for ever.
In my small family, the reality of death came about.
Ever since that time, I dreamed about a family united with faith, although I did not know any such family, and certainly not any Catholic church.
I happened to just walk around, not even knowing what I really wanted.
My heart had been away from the daily life, when a small media caught my attention. That was a pamphlet, and that was my encounter with the Daughters of St. Paul.
For a while, I never told anything about it to my family. It was like someone who has been looking for some treasure, and found it, but until it became really his own. God guided me to get to know His love, through the unhappiness of my father's death.
My decision has been made before I was baptized in the chapel of the Daughters of St Paul convent. Despite the opposition of my family, my desire had not changed. I was quite sure that God who invited me into this religious life would continue to care for my mother, brother and sister, and even for my father who was no longer there. This conviction gave me the strength to go forward, and even now, I have this same feeling together with gratitude and joy.