Every
time I think of the grace of faith, I realize that so much gift from God always
has been guiding me.
Despite my saying that I do not like religion, I knocked the church door, and
when I was invited to a life in a convent, I thought that it was not a life which
I hoped for. When I went to a retreat invited by a friend, it was more because
of curiosity. I had no idea about a retreat, and I thought, maybe we will all
do something together after the priest's talk.
Once there was a meeting for young people. And what I heard over there always stayed in my heart. God's deep compassion, His forgiveness and Love, touched my heart. I began to wonder what my life was, and my dream of a rose-colored life faded little by little. And yet, I was still singing the joy of youth.
One
day, a Sister of the Daughters of St. Paul told me that there are various ways
of life:
married life, life of service and also one can give her life for something definite.
Maybe…. no, it can't be. Besides, I am not meant to be for a life in a convent….
I tried to shut off my ears, even though I was beginning to notice that I was
trying to listen to God, deep in my heart.
However, I had been restless, and finally talked to a priest who told me to pray and ask for guidance. While in prayers, I thought back of my life and found out that so much holy grace from God has been guiding me in many different ways. At the same time, I began to see that God's compassion which lasts for ever, is the way I had been looking for. My decision wavered many times in front of various difficulties, but I made up my mind thinking that if I don't now, the holy grace for now will be lost.
God
added my weak self to His disciples, and He invites me into His activity every
day.
I am living, daily, in joy, thanking God of his mysterious influence.