One day quite suddenly, God called me to the religious life. I was surprised but at the same time very happy. I had always wished to aim at anything genuine. Everyone can certainly aim at and live in truth in the way each has chosen. Otherwise, whether you get a high evaluation socially, you would feel in vain at the end. At that time my feelings for value was more for the truth and goodness, rather than beauty. I think I have always had that kind of tendency, ever since I was small.
At the kindergarten where I used to go, I was cleaning the birds' cage. As I had not closed the door, one of the birds was nearly going out of it．Instead of closing the door immediately I hesitated just because it seemed dangerous for the bird．At that time a little boy came, and smashed the door. The little bird fell on the ground and did not move any longer. For once I was really angry; not because the bird died, but more because I was such a coward, trying not to take .any responsibility for letting the bird fly away．This was not such a big matter, but I have always wanted accomplish the best at every moment.
All this does not mean that there has never been anything impure about myself. On the contrary, I am longing for truth so badly because of my own contradiction. Although looking for the truth, I often get blinded by something fake so easily. With the Lord who carried my sins with the cross, I am walking my way for the truth and coming back from my weakness again and again.
For many people it could be easier to get closer to baby Jesus，without argument.
I keep praying "Dear Lord, please come to me"