My mother had been against my entering the convent so strongly for more than two months. On the day I was leaving, she was putting in and out my bags, and told me sadly “Let’s go to Onsen ( hot spring resort) together”. I remained silent, and writing on the sand of Hibachi.
At that moment, all of a sudden, I could see a strong light up in the corner of the ceiling and said to my mother very clearly: “Mother, I will go”. Even now, that was a decision that I cannot really understand. Mother stood up, keeping her sufferings in her heart.
She started preparing Osekihan (special rice often made for feast, etc) with best wishes for my departure. She helped me with the preparation on time for the train, but both my parents said that they did not have the courage to see me off. They asked one of my aunts to keep me company to the train. When the train departed, I saw my father standing lonely, outside the station, and I cried.
Why
did I choose this life, despite the strong opposition of my parents ?
It was not to run away from the society, nor from a broken love, and I did not
have any dissatisfaction to my family. I had been accepted by the society, and
deeply loved by my parents. I even refused several marriage offer. But the more
I prayed, the inner voice was becoming stronger and stronger.
Almost half a century has passed since that time. The grace of God has been abundant.I know that it is the fruit of my parents’sacrifice to let me enter the convent.
My parents, thinking that they would not fully understand their daughter unless they know the Catholic religion, studied it and got baptized. Being very happy to have offered their daughter, they went to Heaven.
My becoming a nun is nothing else but the holy gift of God called vocation.
“You
have not chosen me, I have chosen you” (John 15.16)
I have to find the answer every day in my life. As I followed Jesus, leaving everything
to Him, I would like to live for the Kingdom of God, and for everyone, and being
worthy to be a daughter of Saint Paul.