One of the Sisters once said “ I am attracted by candles !” Then it occurred to me that I also have a strong nostalgic feeling towards candle light. And I remembered the first basic point of my vocation.
I was born in the countryside of Fukushima prefecture and grew up in a life without anything to do with Jesus, or Christian religion. But somehow I knew about Holy Mary and I used to pray lighting candles, even though I could not know who she was or what kind of person she was.
I don’t even remember what kind of prayer I was offering, but I lit the candle in the dark room. And each time I could feel something warm. I probably enjoyed that warmth and never got bored. I was still in my lower class at school but I spent quite a long time that way.
Eventually I got baptized and directed towards the religious life. But now that I think of it, God must be taking care of us, ever since we are little, and that He is preparing a way for each one of us.
now, I am walking on the way God has prepared for me and I also will from now
on. There are many happenings in life: suffering, sadness and joy.
But after any and every thing if I turn around and look, God is always there. He knows me even better than I do myself. He is always there with everything I need most.
It sounds like the person walking ahead of a Sumo Yokozuna “sweeping away the mist” to clear his way. (What ? then am I the Yokozuna ? can’t be… but maybe…)
Now in my daily life as a nun, I am taking long hours for prayers. But remembering those days when I was still a young girl , I think my prayers were much more genuine and pure and I feel happy to remember those prayers.