When I was still a novice, a priest said to us "You might think that you became a martyr in entering the convent, but the martyrs are your parents". This word has always remained in my heart.
For one year before entering the convent, I had been troubled and wondering when I can talk to my grandmother. I used to go back to her home once a month. But every time I saw her I could not tell her. The time came to quit my job, and making my decision to talk to her, I went back to her for the fall festival.
The only thing grandmother knew about Christianity was that it was a foreign religion. But she gave me permission when I got baptized saying that faith was free. Now, if I tell her that I am going into a convent, what is she going to think ? She cannot even imagine what kind of a place it is.
After the dinner, I started “ I have something to tell you." "In the New Year, I would like to enter a place like a temple..." That was about all I could say. Grandmother started to cry saying "Why ?!” I also cried, and in my heart I said to Jesus " Why all this suffering ?" The following day, without mentioning anything I had to go back to my lodging.
One thing grandmother always used to say was "Parents cannot live for ever, so the children should live the way they think the best". In my case too, this was not to ask her opinion, but simply to tell her my decision. As it was in the country, grandmother could not even talk to the relatives, which would make things worse, and she had to endure all by herself.
Every time when I thought that neither grandmother, or myself, could overcome, Jesus showed me His way and guided me. Every time I think back of my entering the convent, I am grateful to my family from all my heart.